York Stag Dooo!

The zoo keepers from South Yorkshire took “The Boy” Jones..AKA “Gay boy Jones”… to York on Saturday to celebrate his forthcoming wedding on a”Stag Do

English: St George's Minster, Doncaster

English: St George’s Minster, Doncaster (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It was a typical affair with much imput and direction from a fellow keeper called Sav-aarge. We should thank him loads for this, even though he is retarded at times he did well and chose Gareth’s pink and gold outfit beautifully and in his own time using his own pocket-money to buy it all, well done Sav-aage you nut case!

We hitched a ride to York from Doncaster on the London train along with fellow party goers, Stag groups and Hen parties.

Gareth disappeared into the toilet of the first pub with Sav-aage and morphed from a dowdy slipper wearing oik into a beautiful young laydee! I had agreed earlier to be cuffed to him for the day, so lots of “my pictures” were taken by Sav-aage and Reed, I have borrowed some photos too from other drunks too. Many many thanks in anticipation guys!

We have just come out of the first pub and it’s still not 12.00 hrs, only 8 hours to go!!…note our personal taxi in the background.

Getting into character………….Legs crossed..Stomach in, tits out “Gay Boy”

enjoying a pint in the pub just like any normal married couple. Don’t we look cosy?!

Gareth is a pretty boy at the best of times but there seemed to be something lacking, Know what I mean?

Gay boy Jones shows no embarrassment at all at wearing Ladies tat!  though he confessed later when resting on the floor of some pub that perhaps it was wrong…Aha I know whats missing, its makeup!

Some brilliant ladies from Newcastle on a “Hen Doo” were more than happy to help out applying make-up to him. Red lippi, foundation creams, blusher, mascara brushes and eyeliner pencils appeared from everywhere. A couple of the ladies then gleefully went to work on him. On apply the finishing touches Mother Hen splashed pink onto our nails. Yes I did say “our nails” because she did mine too, bless her!                             

 Four lovely male escorts from the Blue Oyster Bar. Messrs Gannon…Reed.. Kenny and Sav-aage. Four of England’s finest and bravest hoteliers.. You wouldn’t think butter would melt in their mouths wouldn’t you?

   Remember to double left click on all the photos to ENLARGE

 Byard heads this next batch. He is a fine six footer heterosexual  from out of Yorkshire but we won’t hold that against him. Next comes Sav-aage and Reed and are truly THE Odd couple.

We touted “Gay Boy” around the city of York to some extremely funny double takes from York shoppers, old ladies and children keen to give us a wide berth.

It was said that perhaps they were actually looking at the keeper with the long shorts pink shirt chains handcuffs and grubby bovver boots, I can’t see it missen….

“Gay Boy” was dumped at the side of this Out of luck character for a photo opportunity. He didn’t mind and thought it was funny ( All the same, I said thank’s and pressed a couple of quid into his hand)

A following Hen Party latched onto us, I say us, I really mean latched onto “Gay Boy Jones” It’s amazing how much bird pulling power a pair of pink lycra shorty shorts has!

                     More of the same gaggle of “Henners!”

          South Yorkshire’s answer to “TAKE   THAT”

May I give you “AVVIT” starring “Check the door” Walker.  Alex “I hate anything Green”. Kenny “Don’t touch me”…and their driver with permission from our Trace, Big Dennis. You wouldn’t want to drink with these boyos!


The nice barman asked everyone to move away from the balcony then spots me and the missus and just want to join in the frivolities!!  It just doesn’t look right does it?……

  Remember to double left click on the photos to ENLARGE .

Sav-aage struggles to hold the camera steady as the young lady shows “Gay Boy” Jones  how to accentuate womanly curves properly.

 The lager flood gates open wide as Tony and Alex join the gang, would you belive that Alex was at a prior engagement the night before and has just arrived from Kent on the train!

The afternoon begins to warm up nicely as Hens and Stags drink York dry!!

There is a lot to be said for wearing itsy bitsy pink lycra shorts and shimmering tight golden top as the ladies smother “Gay Boy” Jones. We men on the other hand smother the barman with beer orders!

Stags and Hens salute their day!!

Now Id like to bring everyone back to the real world. So, you should digest the following photos nice and slowly…….

                     The pert bum of “Gay Boy” Jones

                      The nicer bum of a proper Geordie woman!

              The sweet lady-like feature of “Gay Boy” Jones

                   And what a proper Geordie woman looks like!

The day was a fab success, Everyone enjoyed it. “Gay Boy” Jones survived it! He didn’t end up on the night train to Edinburgh, nor did he get (A) chucked in the river..(B) chained to the lamp-post..(C) seek asylum at the Cathedral or police station. I did my usual of leaving the scene tooo early as I always seem to do when my tank is full of beer. I came home on the 19 28 to Kings Cross, the rest of the zoo keepers returned on the last train out of York an hour later, I remembered getting into conversation with a smart young Royal Navy Officer who flew helicopters, he was on his way back to Portsmouth what a nice chap he seemed. On reflection I don’t think he understood a word I was shaying because I was a bit pished to shay the leasht!


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