Every year I endulge myself watching the ace Italian motorcycle superstar Mr Valentino Rossi as he races around the various racetracks of the world. He may not win everytime but for me he is the consumate entertainer, second only to our very own Barry Sheene 

The Day I Started Taking Hormones 5 (Photo credit: micha cárdenas)

What a poor teaching method this was too, especially with such a difficult subject. I used to teach so I know how important it is to get everyone’s attention quickly and to speak and include everyone in the room. Personally I found injecting some humour usually worked.

Bloody hell how much is this costing??? I was feeling negative already! However being professional folk we sat and listened for two hours. One friend managed to look up some of the latest D.I.Y tools in a small magazine.  I managed to count up to a 1001 twigs on the tree outside. I didn’t think anything was going to help me in my work place..he admitted he/she had never been in mine or any other similar workplace…..it all went down hill from then on! failure to understand that whatever size, colour, shape or creed was irrelevant they were all treated the same. Thia concept just couldn’t be grasped as for its sex, well that would be decided by the appropriate documentation..Simples!! I shook hands at the end saying thanks, “Happy retirement” was replied with “live and let live”  

I spent the afternoon a little miffed at the waste of time and money spent on it especially in this economic climate  and especially at his comments that the training would help me outside of work! If you know me and how I go about my life you can imagine my reply. The tutor didn’t so was shocked at my reply! For the record I simply said I didnt intend to spend the rest of my life with the likes of …. ”Ooooh I’m glad they are not all like you to which I replied “Ditto”

So this morning I spent an hour looking at the new life pushing up from the soil, already I could see a yellow crocus here and there, the daffs where pushing up like no tomorrow and early short-legged tulips where beginning to show themselves, its been such a nice and often sunny and temperature reached up to 18 degrees. It was so nice I felt positively happy if not a little gay. So happy in fact that I went willingly with my Julie to Meadowhall, the south yorkshire shopping complex in Sheffield….  known to all husbands and boyfriends as “Murderhall” or “Meadowhell”

Spring isn’t far away according to the hordes of Crocus bulbs!

See how the young bulbs are pushing the earth out of the way. Just a little reminder of how strong Mother Nature is I think!

               A blackbirds eye view of the crocus and short red tulips

A Blackbird eye view of POOKA, luckily she has eaten and is feeling in a sleepy mood!

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Did you see those two face shysters on the T.V yesterday? I’m referring to Mr “smug bastarrd” Cameron and Monsewer ”sarkactic dwarf” Sarkozy. They stood on the steps of a grand looking building with a contingent of shiny smart ceremonial solders with swords and spoke utter rubbish. It was really cringing to hear them trying to “out bullshit” each other and wishing each other a long and prosperous life…my bloody arse!  Eventually got to the “hot spot” of this month and proceeded to dance around the Syrian problem and spoke about what they might possibly do. It was so bloody galling! I have to admit it was one of the worst dinner hours I have endured so far in 2012!

This morning I was “at it” again with my chain saw, I was at my friends parents house and felled a conifer tree for them, I sawed it into manageable bits, my pal Mark carried the bits to the car and we stuffed the whole lot into the back of the ”THUG“ It is now stacked in the garage and will be ready next winter for the log burner. Later in the day whilst sharpening the teeth of my chainsaw with my file (extremely therapeutic) I got to thinking about Cameron and Sarkastic’s sickly performance on yesterdays T.V Yesterday Libya..tommorow Syria, it seems goes on forever doesn’t it?  When I was at school I remember reading somewhere that there has been just 11 years of total peace on Earth since time was recorded. The human race has been in conflict somewhere fighting every day since…since… well I suppose some clever monk invented writing!

Is it any wonder therefore that we don’t get much further than catching a glimpse of a E.T and his cousins. They must take one look at us and think Fook this planet, it’s too bloody dangerous! let’s try somewhere else…far far away!

Looking down whilst following in my friends footsteps on a beach in Normandy! If you look long enough an optical illusion asks….are they actually  imprints in the sand or not?

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I’d been sat in the tea room with Grimmers and young Savage chatting over lunchtime when my ankle started winging, shortly after lunch an alarm bell sounded and some of us rushed to its source,  the emergency had been sorted very quickly so further assistance wasn’t required and so returned indoors. From then on the pain in my ankle began to get worse. Two hours later I could hardly walk, so off to the quacks I hobbled.

I was smiling ruefully at what the guys must have been thinking because over dinner they had been joking about me going sick for the rest of my short time at work (I have just seven months left to do before retiring) I know I’m going to get it in the neck when I return!

I could put weight on it, move my toes and slowly rotate it but found it debilitating and really painful to actually walk around on it. The swelling had started and the throbbing was getting more intense. The doctor said I should go and get an X-ray. But it’ was late Friday afternoon, the place would be full,the conditions are pretty awful outside and the roads are clogging up with rush hour traffic. I was reluctant to spend hours sat around in hospital waiting room wasting the nurses time, the authorities at the zoo do that on a daily basis for god’s sake! I couldn’t walk but was sure I wouldn’t die overnight! I just wanted to flop down and get off my foot.

 Ok she says take anti inflammatory tablets take the weight off and elevate whilst applying hot/cold compress. IF it’s still the same in the morning then go for X-ray, it should be quieter early in the morning.  I laced up my army boot and hobbled out of the surgery, she said at least it’s not your ear this time, “Don’t talk to me about those bloody things! I’ll see you later” doc I laughingly replied

That was late Thursday afternoon, now is Saturday morning, the pain has subsided but it’s still quite swollen. All day yesterday I was laid up like an old man with pillows under foot and cat on lap reading about the Royal Tank Regiment v the Africa Corps in North Africa in 1941!

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Today I shall probably finish the book and will start another, thanks to Chris for the new stuff to read. I do save some books but can’t read one twice like Julie does.

Meanwhile Julie is out in the snow-covered field with the osses, my own two osses are under wraps in the garage waiting for dry roads. It will be a while before they come out if Paul the weatherman  has his calculations right. Pooka is sat waiting for me to move the PC so’s she can return to her spot on my lap, I can only stand being stared at for so long so I’d better bring this to a close.

I thought you might find a picture of Pooka keeping my seat warm more interesting that one of my swollen foot?

I so very regret taking the camera out with me sometimes!

We may have spent millions  bombing the Libyan gangsters out of office but fear not we will recoup that amount ten fold with defence and building contracts Therefore contributing to shrinking our national debt.

I hope just that Brit reporter and his cameraman thats showing the world how it is in Syria right now doesn’t get his head shot off because between them they will surely make folk ask question of our fine upstanding slithering P.M as to WTF we are doing about it? The Russians and Chinese have made their position clear, we should do the same. We keep telling ouselves we are world leaders in this and that, is it time to step up to the plate and save the world again?

In front of me is a clear desk…a blackpen and clean notepad at the ready….the mouse is ready and sitting in neutral! I guess this means I’m READY!

Wiht me are the famous The Red Hot Chilli  Peppers singing / screaming in the background…excuse me if I disappear now and again to jig around the room!
I frequently want to talk about work but I can’t due to the fact that I’m in the “Official Secrets Act club” but I really do want to sometimes!  We put our heart and soul into our work and in return loose blood sweat and often some of our sanity, yearly they try and shave another million or so of the budget yet our population goes up and up! At present we look after a thousand beings. Now the government (our leaders) wants to sell us down the river bit by bit thinks it will get be better if it all goes to the private sector. Those suckling sharks in government (our leaders)…many by the way…have shares in the very private companies who are waiting to run the zoo! The government (our leaders) insist it’s for the greater good. God what bollix!! Unfortunately the only folk who know the truth are the keepers and the kept, so you guys out there will never know. I recently I worked in the house of exotica for about four years but that has now shut due (can’t think why) I’m now back amongst the black and whites in the big cage. This weekend I’m going to have a little bonfire with my dozen or so purple shirts..Or should I donate them to the Africa appeal?that would be funny …Kate Adie reporting on a future famine crisis in Africa,  in the background of the film report would be little pot bellied  kids running about in old purple shirts hopefully the logo wouldn’t show!

Today is my rest day and I’ve been out with my chainsaw in The THUG foraging for logs, a pal from Dumfries told me once that it was therapeutic and how right he was! This afti whilst cutting the trunk into manageable chunks I found myself humming “Oh…I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK, I work all day and I sleep all night…” You will only be smirking now if you’re a fan of Monty Python!
Today whilst out in the cold I reflected on the weather…FooK! Hasn’t it been cold these past few years guys? I remember just as the first lumps of snow tumbled from the heavy skies wife and I walked the mile or so to the nearest pub for Sunday dinner, several hours later we walked back in thick snow it had transformed everything into a Christmas scene and it was still only November! I had several bottles in my hands and was thankful of the thick layer of snow that cushioned their one fall during that long shuffle home.
There is something to be said for gaining inspiration through drink or drugs, more than the odd vinyl have been cut under the influence and have proved to be best sellers, in fact today’s entry has been written in this fashion thank you with Messer’s “Jaegermeister” and  “Southern Bell” If it’s all bollix then let me wish you a good February whatever you decide to do and don’t believe all you read on the bleeding telly!

….and yes the next day this was “spell checked”  to make it legible!

This is my interpitation for this weeks photo challenge entitled “Peaceful”

It was taken in 2010 at the British and Commonwealth Wargraves Cemetary situated under Monte Casino in Italy. It was so very peaceful this day, especially having just spent the morning in the Cassino museum learning all what happened around here during the Second World War. May they all now rest in peace whatever country they fought…suffered… and died for.